Real Men are Kind - Tip #4

Tip #4 - Turn off the TV

Have you ever tried to tak to somebody and you soon realize that they are so distracted that they aren't even able to listen to you? Perhaps they're on the computer, or on the phone, or watching TV. Guys, we have the reputation of being glued to the TV watching football or whatever else pointless just in on. We tell our wives and our children, "Gimme just a second..." Yet, twenty minutes later, we are still watching TV and our families are still waiting to talk to us.

A kind man turns the TV off so that he can devote all of his attention to his wife. Is the Daytona 500 really more important than talking with your wife about something that is important to her? What about Guitar Hero? or whatever Video game happens to be your 'flavor?' Are any of them more important than your wife. No, of course not! It is unkind to tell your wife that you can tallk with her "after the game is over."

Now, I have to admit that I struggle tremendously with this. I am always trying to multi-task. Often, I’m watching TV while working on my computer and thinking about something else totally unrelated to the TV or my computer. So, when my wife begins to talk to me I have to physically turn off all distractions and mentally focus my mind so that I can listen attentively. Sometimes, that is incredibly hard to do. But, it is the kind thing to do.

Let's be real men. Let's be kind. Let's turn off the TV.

• Tip #1 - Wash the Dishes
• Tip #2 - Change a Diaper
• Tip #3 - Use a Soft Answer
  

Real Men are Kind - Tip #3

Tip #3

Use a Soft Answer - "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Proverbs 15:1. I have experienced the truth of this verse many times. How I respond to a situation is often much more important than the actual words that I use. Real Men are kind and demonstrate that kindness by using a soft answer. Men, take time to do some self-evaluation.

• When you disagree with your wife, does your voice get louder and louder?
• Do you ever yell at your wife?
• When you discipline your children, do you yell at them?
  
• What kinds of words do you use in your home? Are they gentle? Are they soft? Or, are they harsh? Are they grievous?

Remember, harsh words are easy. They come naturally. They are sinful and our bodies are naturally inclined towards them. Soft words are difficult. They often require a deep breath and a moment of thought. They require patience. But, soft words are kind. They demonstrate love and respect.

Real men give a soft answer. Real men are kind. Be a real man.

• Tip #1 - Wash the Dishes
• Tip #2 - Change a Diaper
• Tip #3 - Use a Soft Answer
  

Real Men are Kind - Tip #2

Tip #2

Change a Diaper - I was stunned recently. I was in a conversation with some men whose children are grown and out of the house. One remarked how he had never changed any of his kids' diapers. Now I realize that 30 years ago was a different time, but come on!!! Not one diaper!?!?

Guys, things are different today. Having kids means changing diapers. Refusing to change diapers is totally unkind. Every once and a while, when the aroma hits your nose - Be a man. Be kind to your wife and change the diaper. Better yet, change the diaper with a good attitude. Don't complain.

Just remember that it's not about the diaper. It's about being kind to your wife.

Real men change diapers. Real men are kind. Be a real man.

• Tip #1 - Wash the Dishes
• Tip #2 - Change a Diaper
  

Real Men are Kind - Intro & Tip #1

Welcome to a new series of blog posts entitled Real Men are Kind.

I believe that if you asked most men "Do you Love your wife?" they would immediately answer "Yes!" However, I believe that if you ask those same men "Are you kind to your wife?" they would answer "well...."

Kindness is not easy. For most of us it does not come naturally. We have to work at it. I think that we (husbands) often assume that we are being kind when in reality our wives would tell a different story.

So, my goal in this series is to offer tips to help you show kindness to your wife. Anybody can be mean and ornery. Be a real man. Be kind.

Tip #1

Wash the Dishes - At my house there are many things that I can't do because I would only make things worse. I can't decorate - because my wife would have to come behind me and fix it. I can't organize my wife's papers or files because she would never find them. I can't fix my daughters' hair - it would only make it more difficult for my wife. But, there is one thing I can't mess up. I can clean the dishes. I know how to wash them. I know which things can go in the dishwasher and which things have to be washed by hand. I know where things go when they are clean. So, there is no excuse for me to not help with the dishes. The problem is that I don't always feel like doing the dishes. But, I've learned that washing the dishes is an act of kindness that communicates to my wife that I love her. It is a small thing to do that makes a powerful statement.

Be a Real Man. Be Kind. Wash the Dishes.